I Found My World

There is a thing about love, its life altering, intoxicating and all encompassing and all it takes is a whiff and the world around you does a somersault. All your dreams, aspirations and expectations in life and all that you have lived for so far, simply become meaningless and all that matters is love and its sweet blissful scent that seem to infatuate each and every sense of yours. A week or so and my head is still reeling with exhilaration, being with her is so unbelievable like a dream which stretches and becomes your reality. And yes, I have been counting days, minutes and seconds and I am going to do so for another 12 or so odd days until she and me can be together and what a union that is going to be, sitting with her, hand in hand, driven to the brink of speechlessness by a reticent onslaught of these crumbling emotions. And yes each time these clouds roll on, my heart cries because only these tears could possibly enunciate this melancholy of separation but I am just too happy and kind of light headed too, as if her love has been the intoxication and a final deliverance I have been waiting for.

And I am a poet or this is what her love has made me and through this incipient and nonsensical poetry, I tell her all that I feel inside and sometimes I fumble for words because I have never been this madly in love with anyone before and now it feels like as if I have never been in love before until the moment I fell in love with her. And my past and my future do not matter to me now for my past is over and with her lies my future. And yes I have never been this sure about anything in life because never before I found the contentment I have been looking for.

And now when I think of it, I realize my mom was right when she said about me being nothing short of a soothsayer in my previous incarnations and speaking of which my dad couldn’t have been all that far detached from truth either when he said about me being clubbed to death by the very followers whom I soothed with my philosophy. Yes, I have a lot of notions in my head about how a relationship should be, about how two people in it should interact, act and so on and yes I have been too disillusioned by this love before to believe in the permanence of all that I am feeling. But now I think it is this mortality, this evanescence that has made everything beautiful, tomorrow when the love that both of us feel would start to appear more believable then maybe these unsettling emotions may settle down and I will be able to talk about things other than us but even then I would be just as much in love with her as I am now. And I am not going to stop philosophizing but this time around I will rather find some newly in love couples and corrupt their minds with my notions, anathemas and thoughts because at least this relationships of mine could do without my soothsaying’s and philosophies about what work and what doesn’t.

And yes I still look at other girls but with a feigned indifference like a child with a big teddy bear when he find himself in front of a shelf full of Barbie’s would, he may stop and appreciate their long blond hair and unbelievably thin frame but in the end he would move on because he had all that he wants and he happens to be very much in love with what he have in his arms. And whenever I see a couple walking hand in hand I just feel like shouting at the top of my voice and telling them that I too have a girlfriend who happens to love me more than anything else in this world.

And yes I want to be with her for the rest of my life, count the wrinkles as both of us get old, go to sleep each night with the gentle touch of her embrace and look at her face as I wake up each day. Yes I am love and for the first time… truly, deeply and madly.